How do you know who you are?
How do you know how you’re supposed to be?
Have you ever thought about how you’re supposed to act?
Maybe other don’t approve of your behavior all the time?
Do you often get weird looks from people when you let too much of your self come out?
Who is this self that seems to peak it’s head through the curtains at the most inopportune moments?
Who is it that you find singing along with the song that you’ve been listening to?
Who is it that loses control and let’s their emotions go?
Who is it that is always trying to hold them selves together?
Who are you really supposed to be?
Questions like this never seem to leave my mind,
yet when I discuss them in public or with other people, especially in a social setting, I get a look similar to the one mentioned above.
“The one who speaks his mind at all times, the one who never conforms to what others expect him to do will find themselves immediately ostracized from polite company.”Robert Greene The Laws of Human Nature
– Note I write this from the seclusion and non social setting of my desk with my office door closed and the lock locked.
The question becomes a journey of understanding who we really are, an unraveling of the self that without a doubt will come with some heavy ups and downs.
So who is this self?
This self is the one who is not welcomed in polite company.
This self cannot be on their best behavior because they don’t understand what that means.
With this self, there is only one way to be and that is the self.
What is the problem with this self?
The problem depends on the point of view of the one expressing it.
From the selfs point of view, the problem is one of time and space.
The self does not have enough time or space to express.
From the point of view of polite company, society or culture.
The problem with the self is well frankly, it’s inappropriate.
It acts like a child. It’s very lofty and naive. It doesn’t exist in the ‘real world’.
In the real world we have real problems to worry about and we don’t have time to cater to every individual that feels they need to express themselves, actually why don’t you go take yourself over there until you can handle yourself a bit more appropriately.
The self, the true self is the one who speaks up.
The true self is the one who is first in the room.
The true self makes it’s presence known then shadows itself for fear of making somebody else uncomfortable and thus disturbing the peace of the group.
We live in a world where emotional outbursts are ‘uncalled for’.
We live in a world where ‘you don’t have to act like that’.
We live in a world where ‘you don’t have to say that’.
Where is the freedom in this?